By Elizabeth Ernest, LCSW
The holiday season is a time for joy, connection, and celebration—but for kids and teens with Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs), such as hair-pulling (trichotillomania), skin-picking (dermatillomania), or nail-biting, it can also bring unique challenges. The pressure to look “perfect” for family gatherings, school events, and social media posts can increase feelings of shame, frustration, or isolation. Here are a few ideas for boosting your child’s self esteem this holiday season.
Tips for Managing Self-Esteem Around BFRBs During the Holidays
1. Focus on What You Can Control: The holidays can feel overwhelming, with expectations to look or act a certain way. Instead of focusing on what you can’t control, such as physical appearance, shift your energy to things you can control—like how you respond to your emotions, how you take care of your body, and how you engage with others.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: BFRBs are not a reflection of your worth. It’s important to practice self-compassion and remind yourself that everyone has challenges—yours just happen to be more visible. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.
3. Set Boundaries: If someone comments on your BFRB or appearance in a way that feels uncomfortable, it’s okay to set boundaries. You have the right to explain that you’re working on it and don’t want to discuss it further. Creating a simple, respectful response can help reduce stress in social situations.
4. Take Breaks When Needed: If you start to feel overwhelmed by holiday activities, it’s okay to take a step back. Give yourself time to recharge and engage in activities that help you relax, whether that’s reading a book, practicing mindfulness, or just taking a walk.
5. Practice Gratitude: The holidays are a great time to reflect on the things that bring you joy and meaning. Focus on what you’re grateful for—whether it’s a strong support system, the progress you’ve made with your BFRB, or the simple pleasures in life.
6. Connect with Support: Whether it’s a therapist, a parent, a friend, or a group, having someone to talk to is key. Share your feelings with others who understand, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.
Join Us for the BFRB Kids & Teens Workshop:
The holiday season doesn’t have to be a time of stress or self-doubt. By participating in our BFRB Kids & Teens Workshop, you’ll gain tools and confidence to face the season with resilience and self-acceptance. Don’t let your BFRB hold you back—let’s take steps together toward a brighter, more positive future.
