In a never-ending world filled with others’ demands and our own obligations, we think that 24 hours in a day isn’t enough time to get everything done on our to-do list. We’re always X number of steps ahead of ourselves. Maybe I will feel satisfied if I rush a little more. Maybe I will feel accomplished if I add one more thing to my life. Maybe I will be recognized if I push just a little bit harder. But should my goal in life really be to just “push through”? I sometimes have to remind myself and my clients that we don’t receive a “Badge of Exhaustion” for burning ourselves out; we need to give ourselves the opportunity to relax and be nourished in order to thrive. We deserve self care.
A colleague and friend of mine gave me the simplest equation to understand self care: release + restoration.
Release means working through, processing or “letting go” of that which is weighing you down.
Restoration means feeling nourished, filled up, and rejuvenated.
Self care isn’t a “one size fits all” approach. Every person doesn’t feel refreshed after a good workout. Every person doesn’t feel rejuvenated after a meditation session. And I know for sure not everyone wants to journal—and that’s totally okay! It’s important to explore and recognize what does work to provide you with a sense of release + restoration. Are you wanting to better understand how you can release + restore? Here are three questions to ask yourself.
Three Questions to Ask Yourself for Identifying Self Care:
- What am I feeling deprived of? This is a way of finding out what you really need. Are you feeling deprived of peace? Or maybe you are deprived of sleep? Then ask yourself: How can I give myself these things in a way that I get what I need?
- Which part(s) of me needs my attention right now? For example, there are a lot of parts that make up me (Sarah). Right now, there’s a part of me that is motivated to get this blog done, a part of me that is feeling a bit sleepy, a part of me that is thinking about my future, and a part of me that is feeling wishful. When I think about my different parts, I can see that the part of me that is hungry needs some attention. So I will go get myself something to eat! What part of you needs your attention right now?
- Which wellness dimension needs some care? Of the following, where do you feel you most need some self care: Physical, mental, social, sensory, emotional, spiritual or creative? The truth is, self-care might not always feel good. I recently had a rude awakening with this concept when I realized I needed self care in the emotional and spiritual dimension. In my case, self care was giving myself the permission to mourn. It didn’t include a bath, or chocolate, or even a journal! It was just me laying in bed, alone, allowing myself to feel the unpleasantness. For me, self care was being able to meet myself where I am versus where I want to be. It was being able to meet myself with grace and understanding versus shame and guilt for having a human experience. What would self care look like in the category you chose?
You deserve to meet yourself in this beautifully restored and rejuvenated way. Self care is a journey, and these questions will help you make the first step.If you are a caretaker and want to build your self-care capacity, I invite you to join me in my group: Self-Care for the Caretaker. It is a 6-week online course for parents, teachers, healthcare providers, and anyone else in a caretaker role. You can find out more here.
