Have you ever noticed that your inner voice uses the word “should” a lot? Do you tend to beat yourself up about mistakes, things you can or can’t do, etc.? As I’ve grown as a clinician, I’ve come to realize that many of my clients are excellent at showing compassion to their loved ones but struggle to do so for themselves. If any of this sounds like you, practicing self-compassion might be beneficial for your mental well-being.
The three main tenets of self-compassion are self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. If you’d like to read more about these concepts, follow this link. For now, let’s focus on some practical tips for starting to integrate self-compassion into your daily life. If (and probably when) you notice that you are speaking to yourself negatively, consider taking the following steps:
- Ask yourself, “How would I treat my best friend or a loved one if they were in this situation?” Notice that what you would typically say and the tone you would use with a loved one comes from a place of compassion while your inner voice is judgmental and critical. Consider what factors contribute to you treating yourself and others so differently.
- When in the midst of a difficult situation where you find yourself being critical or judgmental, say to yourself…
- “This is a moment of suffering” or “this hurts” — These phrase helps you to become mindful of your emotions and how they are impacting your life.
- “Suffering is a part of life” or “I’m not alone” — These statements remind us that people all around the world are dealing with similar struggles.
- “May I be kind to myself” or “What do I need to hear to express kindness to myself?” — Consider in this moment how you would show kindness to a friend or loved one. Show that same kindness to yourself!
The great thing about these concepts is that you don’t need a worksheet or other resource to practice them! If you can remember the three main concepts of mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness, you can practice self-compassion anytime and anywhere.
