Body Focused Repetitive Behavior (BFRB) Awareness Week starts Monday, October 1st, and to help spread awareness I want to use some words from my BFRB community to help you understand what it’s like to have a BFRB. First of all, you may be wondering what a BFRB even is, and what they have to do with superheroes, both of which are very good questions, so I’ll start there.
A BFRB is a Body Focused Repetitive Behavior such as hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting, cheek biting, and hair cutting. Many people do these behaviors, but to become a BFRB the behavior must be done repetitively and cause some harm, either emotionally or physically, but usually both. To learn more about what BFRBs are and why you may have never heard of them, see my prior blog post. The term “BFRB Superhero” is from the TLC Foundation for BFRBs, a national non-profit organization whose mission is “sharing knowledge, supporting recovery, and finding a cure” for BFRBs.
A BFRB Superhero is someone who fights against the stigma that holds so many back from getting the help that they need by educating themselves and others, spreading awareness, and being kind and supportive to those who have a BFRB. Each of us, whether we have a BFRB or not, has the opportunity to be a superhero by doing one or more of these simple things to help change the world.
To get us started on educating ourselves and others, I wanted to share some of the things that people in my Facebook group for overcoming BFRBs want others to know about BFRBs. When asked what the number one thing they’d like others to know about BFRBs, they responded with the following:
- “It’s real!”
- “It’s not something you do consciously.”
- “I’d stop if I could.”
- “I can’t believe I’ve done this to myself.”
- “I’ve had people tell me before to just stop picking. They seem to think that you’d be like ok sure I’ll just stop, it’s that easy. But it isn’t.”
- “We aren’t alone! We are loved and valued and cherished!”
- “I don’t need to be fixed. To the extent that I want to change my behavior and you want to support that, cool. But it’s up to me and acceptance goes further than anything else.”
When asked what the most challenging thing about their BFRB is, they responded with the following:
- “Not judging myself for it”
- “Everyone else understanding”
- “Consistency”
- “Confidence, and not comparing myself to others”
- “Self-compassion”
- “Guilt”
- “Scars”
- “Shame”
These are just the initial responses I got in the past two days from just a small sampling of those who deal with BFRBs, but I hope this gives you a glimpse into the struggles that some people with BFRBs face. These are literally their words, and I’ve heard the same and very similar statements from hundreds of people with BFRBs over the past 12 years that I’ve specialized in treating this population.
If you’ve read this far, then you’re already on your way to becoming a BFRB Superhero. If you felt moved by these statements, or learned something new, please consider flexing your superhero powers a little further by sharing this post with at least one person. If you want to really show your strength, share this on social media now or during BFRB Awareness Week, October 1st through 7th, 2018. I’ve made it super easy for you with these little links that you can click right at the bottom of this post.
It’s not easy for many with BFRBs to share these words because our society’s lack of understanding of these disorders has caused most people with a BFRB to have been teased, bullied, or left out over and over throughout their lives. Many feel completely trapped by the shame and isolation that our ignorance has caused, and live in fear of others finding out this secret that they try so hard to hide. These emotional scars are often much more painful than any physical ones, and we who do not have a BFRB have the power to prevent this damage. By sharing knowledge, we can let children, parents, doctors, and teachers know that these disorders exist and that treatment is available, so that one more person can be saved from living with this disorder alone and in silence.
