By Taylor Oberhelman-McLeod, MA, PLPC
September marks Suicide Awareness Month, a time to raise awareness of one of the most pressing public health crises we currently face. Each year, many individuals silently struggle with feelings of hopelessness, isolation, and despair, often believing they are alone in their struggle. However, by starting conversations, providing support, and fostering understanding, we can help break the stigma surrounding mental health and suicide.
Despite the difficulty many face in discussing suicide, breaking the silence is important for prevention. Open, honest conversations have the potential to save lives by reducing stigma and encouraging those who are struggling to seek help. Whether you’re a family member, teacher, coworker, or friend, knowing how to approach the topic with sensitivity and compassion is important.
Listed below are some practical tips to help you start and navigate these challenging but important conversations:
1. Choose the Right Time and Place
Conversations about suicide should happen in a private, comfortable setting where the person feels safe and supported. Avoid discussing the topic in public or during a rushed moment. Give the person your full attention and ensure there is enough time to talk..
2. Be Direct, Yet Compassionate
One of the biggest fears people have is saying the “wrong” thing. However, research shows that asking someone directly about suicide does not increase the risk—it can actually reduce it. It’s important to ask in a way that shows you care without being confrontational.
Example: Instead of, “You’re not thinking of doing something stupid, are you?” try, “I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling lately. Sometimes, when people feel overwhelmed, they think about ending their life. Are you feeling like this?”
3. Listen Without Judgment
If someone opens up about their thoughts of suicide, your role is to listen without offering immediate solutions or judging their feelings. Let the person express themselves fully and validate their emotions.
Tip: Avoid phrases like “You have so much to live for,” or “It’s not that bad,” as these can feel dismissive. Instead, say, “I can see you’re really hurting, and I’m here to listen.”
4. Validate Their Feelings
It’s important to acknowledge that the person’s pain is real, even if you don’t fully understand it. Validating their experience can help them feel heard and understood, reducing feelings of isolation.
Example: “It sounds like you’re going through something incredibly difficult, and I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way.”
5. Offer Support, Not Solutions
When someone shares suicidal thoughts, it’s natural to want to “fix” the situation. However, offering quick solutions can sometimes feel overwhelming. Instead, offer your support in helping them find the appropriate resources.
Tip: Say, “I’m not sure how to make this better, but I’d like to help you find someone who can,” and suggest reaching out to a mental health professional together.
6. Know When it is Time to Involve Professionals
Suicidality is a symptom of deeper underlying mental health conditions that professionals are trained to address and provide appropriate care. If someone is actively suicidal, or you feel their safety is at immediate risk, it’s important to seek help from professionals right away. This may include calling a suicide prevention hotline or going to an emergency room. Your role as a family member, friend, or acquaintance is to support your loved one by guiding them to appropriate resources.
Tip: Have the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988) or other local crisis hotlines handy. If you’re unsure what to do, call a hotline for advice.
7. Normalize Conversations About Mental Health
In families, schools, and workplaces, making mental health part of regular conversations reduces the stigma. Encourage people to share how they’re feeling and check in with each other regularly, so when tough times come, it’s easier to talk openly.
8. Follow Up
Starting the conversation is an important first step, but continued support is key. Check in on the person regularly, showing them that they matter and that you’re still there for them. A simple message like “I’ve been thinking about you. How are you doing today?” can go a long way in showing ongoing support.
This month serves as a vital reminder that awareness, education, and compassion can save lives. Whether through sharing stories, promoting mental health resources, or simply listening to someone who is struggling, we all play a role in creating a world where no one feels that their only option is to end their life. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide or needs help, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the following resources:
- Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988 (text or call)
- Crisis Text Line: text 741741
- National Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline: Call 1-800-950-6264 or text 62640.
- Veteran Crisis Line
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
- The Trevor Project: text 678-678 or call 1-866-488-7386
- Postpartum Support International: Call 1-800-944-4773 or text 800-944-4773 (english) and 971-203-7773 (spanish). Not an emergency or crisis line.
- Emergency Services: 911 or go to the nearest hospital
Saint Louis Specific Resource:
- BJC Behavioral Health: Crisis Behavioral Team – 314-747-7491
