When reflecting on my last blog post, Coping with a Chronic Mental Health Condition, it struck me how different coping with a mental health condition is from coping with most physical health conditions, largely due to the fact that most mental health conditions are invisible. Others can’t visualize your symptoms, there’s not a sign on your body that your condition exists, you don’t have any outward accommodations, and your condition doesn’t show up on a scan or lab value. There are definitely some physical conditions that share these characteristics, such as migraines or autoimmune diseases, but for the sake of this article, I will focus on mental health conditions, which I think are particularly difficult to cope with as largely invisible illnesses.
When you have an invisible illness, such as anxiety, depression, and many forms of OCD, living life day to day can be such a challenge. Although you look “normal” on the outside, you may be feeling anything but normal on the inside. This can lead to feeling pressure to act as if everything is ok when you’re really struggling. The dichotomy of the normalcy of your outward appearance and actions with the turmoil of your inner existence is painful, sometimes unbearably so. Because people with invisible illnesses often do act as if everything is ok, it can be easy for others to misunderstand them or minimize their symptoms when they try to explain what they’re going through. Others may not understand just how agonizing daily life can be, and this can be frustrating to someone with an invisible illness, making them feel isolated, minimalized, and invalidated.
The good news is, though, that there ARE people and fellow sufferers of invisible illnesses out there who do understand what you are going through. I know it may be tempting to keep your struggles to yourself, but my advice to anyone with an invisible illness is to seek community. Whether that’s through friends, family members, a club at school, social media, group therapy, or individual therapy, there is absolutely a community out there of people with your exact same struggles. Finding your community can help you feel less alone and lift the heavy burden that carrying around an invisible illness so often is. I also encourage those with invisible illnesses to learn to be more transparent in their day-to-day life if they are comfortable with this. Take off the “everything is fine” mask, let someone know how you’re truly feeling, admit that you’re not up to doing something – it is ok to not be ok! The added pressure of acting “normal” when you have an invisible illness is exhausting, and we can alleviate some of that by being more transparent. This will help educate others what it is like to live with an invisible illness, and you may be surprised with the understanding and comfort others meet you with.
As for those who do not have an invisible illness? There are things you can do to support those who do! I first encourage you to have an attitude of curiosity rather than judgment. Really listen to understand what your loved one is going through instead of making any assumptions. Be curious as to what it’s like to walk in their shoes for a day and ask them questions about their experience – this will show them you genuinely care. Also, do not automatically try to “fix” what they are going through, as this may indicate to them that you just view them as a problem. They may just want you to listen and empathize with them, so you can instead ask a question like “Do you need any advice or do you just want my support?” to gauge what they need from you in that moment. Lastly, I encourage you to always err on the side of affirmation – that is, believe what your loved one is telling you they’re going through, express understanding, and validate their experiences. This will help them feel heard, which can have a tremendous impact on their well-being.
Invisible illnesses, especially mental health conditions, deserve recognition, support, and understanding. By seeking community, being more transparent, and listening to understand, we can work toward a world where these challenges are acknowledged and addressed just as seriously as visible illnesses. No one should have to suffer in silence simply because their struggles aren’t seen. You are absolutely not alone, and it is my hope that you can feel more visible as you seek the right support ❤️
With a background of studying and working in the medical field before making her transition to psychology and counseling, Lauren is passionate about the mind-body connection and using a whole-person approach towards healing. She also believes that knowledge is power when it comes to mental health and is an advocate for spreading mental health awareness. She primarily treats clients with OCD, anxiety disorders, and BFRBs, and she additionally has developed a strong interest in helping clients who struggle with body image issues and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. She is accepting new clients. To learn more about Lauren or to schedule a session with her, please click here.
