Several months ago, therapist Amanda Fondow talked about five things your therapist wants you to know. Today, therapist Lauren Hendrix is expanding on this with five more things your therapist wants you to know.
During my time as a therapist, there are a few themes that recur during client sessions that bring to mind some points that I would like all clients or potential therapy clients to know about. I know therapy can feel intimidating, but the therapist sitting across from you during a session has most likely chosen their profession because they care about helping people and meeting people where they are in their mental health journeys. We want you to feel comfortable with us, and I think the more you know about our thought processes, the less scary therapy will be! Here are five things I think are important to know about your therapist and the therapy process:
- It’s okay if you don’t know what to talk about: I think this is a common barrier to people starting therapy, and this is something that is not uncommon for me to hear from a client. Whether a regular client has an uneventful week with not many triggers or a new client is struggling to open up, I often hear “I don’t know what I want to talk about today” during sessions, and this is completely okay! While I love for my clients to be active participants during their sessions, we are trained as therapists to talk to you and hold space for you, even when you’re unsure of what there is to discover. If you voice this to a therapist, most will carry on the conversation and gently ask you questions to discover more about you – some great work can still be done when sessions start out like this!
- You can let us know if there’s something about your sessions you want to change: Therapy is YOUR time, and we want you to get the most out of it! If you feel like you’re not making the progress you wanted to, we’re not talking about the things you want to be talking about during sessions, you want more or less structure to the sessions, you want to change the appointment frequency, or you feel like our work together is coming to an end…we want you to feel comfortable to tell us! We absolutely want the sessions to work for you, so please let us know when that isn’t the case. Your therapist will probably praise you for voicing your needs, respect your boundaries, and work with you to make the sessions better for you. I personally really like when clients tell me what they feel isn’t working for them in therapy and welcome this feedback!
- We will never judge you: It is so common to hear a client say something like “You’ll probably think I’m crazy,” “This sounds so bad, but…,” or “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” When a client says something like this, I reiterate that therapy is not a judgmental space, and you can feel free to be your unfiltered self! Chances are, I’ve heard others say what you’re about to say or express exactly how you feel, and I am not going to judge or shame you in any way. The same goes for not following through with a suggestion or “homework assignment” I gave or with needing to talk over the same concepts multiple times – there is absolutely no judgment from my end. You cannot disappoint me. Instead, I’ll approach any of these situations with compassion, care, empathy, and curiosity, and I bet your therapist would do the same.
- We don’t think silences are awkward: It happens with mostly every client – a lull in the conversation, a pause between thoughts, a silence. In a conversation in any other life setting, this may be perceived as awkward, but in therapy, us therapists actually expect and are trained to work with this silence! If there are moments of silence during your therapy sessions, your therapist is most likely reflecting on what was just said, thinking about what direction to take the conversation next, or giving you the space to process your thoughts and emotions. We do not think this pause is awkward, and silences like this should not be taken as a sign that something is going wrong. It’s all a part of the therapy process!
- You are the expert on you: Expanding on some points Amanda made in her previous post, I want all clients to know that even though you seek out the help of a mental health professional, you are your own expert on yourself and have valuable insights that I can help guide you to and through. We as therapists do not hold all the answers and will often turn questions back towards you to help facilitate self-reflection. We believe in your abilities and potential for self-growth so much that we want to guide you towards your own revelations and understandings. Therapy works when you work – we know how difficult this process can be, but we absolutely believe in you!
I hope this post and Amanda’s previous post leave you with less questions about what therapy may be like and what your therapist may be thinking. Starting therapy can be challenging, and I definitely understand wanting to know more about the process before diving in and telling someone intimate details about yourself. If you’re wanting to know more about what therapy with one of our providers would be like or which of our therapists would best fit your needs, you can fill out this appointment request form. We would be happy to hear from you!
Lauren is a therapist at The Center for Mindfulness & CBT. Lauren is passionate about the mind-body connection and using a whole-person approach towards healing. She also believes that knowledge is power when it comes to mental health and is an advocate for spreading mental health awareness. She primarily treats clients with OCD, anxiety disorders, and BFRBs, and she additionally has developed a strong interest in helping clients who struggle with body image issues and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. She is currently accepting new clients and is able to accept Cigna and Aetna insurance plans. Click here to learn more about Lauren.
