How to Support A Loved One With Disordered Eating

By Sarah Roach, BSW, MSW (in progress)

February is National Eating Disorder Awareness Month, but what does this mean for you and your loved ones? If you are unfamiliar with this topic, then this blog will guide you through what an eating disorder is, its types, prevalence, and how we can be sensitive to those around us who may struggle with this. 

Eating disorders encompass a range of conditions, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge-eating disorder, and others. These disorders are characterized by unhealthy eating habits, distorted body image, and a preoccupation with weight and food.

Eating disorders affect nearly 9% of the US population which accounts for 28.8 million people. Having an eating disorder isn’t a choice and doesn’t just require willpower to change eating disorder behaviors. There are many contributing factors to developing an eating disorder such as psychological, biological, and sociocultural factors in addition to experiencing trauma and having adverse childhood experiences. Eating disorders can be a way that people cope with complex emotions, control things around them or to help them feel in control especially when they have been through a traumatic event.

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of eating disorders is a critical step in providing support and healing. Individuals may exhibit extreme weight loss or gain, obsessive calorie counting, secretive eating habits, excessive exercise, and changes in mood or social withdrawal. Teaching and modeling healthy eating habits, positive self-talk, challenging negative thoughts and shift phrasing are key elements of creating a healthy mindset, habits, and behaviors surrounding food and being sensitive to others. 

There are many things you can do to support those around you who may struggle with an eating disorder, and it can be helpful to shift our phrases from focusing on appearance to considering the other person’s feelings when engaging in conversation. You can raise awareness and support those with eating disorders by openly engaging in conversations surrounding self-esteem, body image, and mental health in addition to challenging societal beauty standards and advocating for inclusivity and acceptance. Remember to validate the person’s experiences and emotions, avoid giving advice unless they ask for it, offer support, and always provide empathy and compassion.

How can I support a healthy mindset surrounding food?

  • Structured regular eating
    •  Eating with intention 3-4 hours or 3 meals a day and 2-3 snacks a day. Which helps to regulate your appetite, emotions, and your metabolism.
  • Follow the plate method rather than counting calories or measuring food
    •  use a 9-inch plate, fill half the plate with a starchy vegetable, one quarter with a protein, and one quarter with a carb.
  • Respecting others based on character rather than based on appearance
  • Model self-acceptance
  • Instead of labeling food as “good” or “bad”, look at food as a way to nurture your body
  • Support intuitive eating
    •  honor your hunger and fullness cues your body is giving you
  • Practice self compassion

Here are a few example phrases to support loved ones who may have an eating disorder: 

  • “I care about you, please let me know how I can support you.”
  • “I’m sorry you are hurting, I am here for you.”
  • “This must be so hard for you, what do you need or what can I do to best support you?”

You may not know that someone in your life is struggling or recovering from an eating disorder but by making small changes in our day-to-day language we can make a big difference. If you or someone you know are struggling with an eating disorder, some resources that can be utilized are the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa & Associated Disorders (ANAD): The Helpline 888-375-7767 or you can call or text the 988 suicide and crisis line. 

Sarah Roach graduated with her Bachelor’s in Social Work in May of 2021 and has since been working on her Master’s in Social Work. She specializes in working with clients ages 7-18 who struggle with depression, anxiety, self-injury, life transitions (for children and young adults), processing trauma, and self-esteem. Sarah has current availability, and, as an intern, Sarah is able to offer services at a discounted rate of $55/session. Click here to learn more about her or to inquire about scheduling a session with her.