“I am not as sweet as I used to be, but I am far more loving”: Boundaries & Compassion

By Maria Miller, MA, PLPC

If you read last week’s post, you’ll remember that researcher Dr. Brené Brown surveyed the most compassionate people in the world (monks, volunteers, etc) and found that they all had one thing in common: they had well defined & well enforced boundaries.

As Dr. Brown puts it, boundaries are simply what is okay & what is not okay with you. They might be as simple as communicating dietary restrictions before a dinner party or as complex as discussing what types of communication feel comfortable with your family. Boundaries are the rules, created by yourself, that allow you to be the most generous version of yourself you can be. When your backbone is strong, you free your heart to be soft.

Or, as Dr. Brown says: “I am not as sweet as I used to be, but I am far more loving.”

What are the boundaries you need to put in place to be the most compassionate and generous version of yourself? Do you find that certain situations or conversations rub you the wrong way over and over again? These might be a good place to start as you examine where in your life might need more (or updated) boundaries. You deserve to support yourself, and the world longs for a far more loving (and boundaried) you.

If you’re interested in becoming more mindful about your life, check out the Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy Course starting February 1, 2023. During 8 virtual sessions, you will learn to become more aware of the present moment, engage in healthy behaviors that are consistent with your values, and be more mindful of your thoughts & feelings before they spin out of control. Learn more here.