What To Do About Rising Suicide Rates

image of woman struggling with mental illnessSuicide rates are steadily increasing in America, and even the rich and famous are not immune to this trend. As more people who we would never suspect of having a mental illness die by this means, we cannot ignore this epidemic any longer. Since 2006 there has been a significant rise in the number of people taking their own lives in all age groups and genders, but there has been an especially high suicide spike in women, both adolescents ages 12-19 and middle-aged women ages 45-64.

While it is not clear why the rates of suicide are rising, the primary cause of suicide still appears to be mental illness. Even though most mental illnesses are treatable, most people do not get treatment due to the stigma surrounding mental health. The recent suicide of Kate Spade may be linked to this stigma, as it has been reported that she had an appointment to evaluate her mental health, but “chickened out” due to the fear that the public’s perception of her would change if they knew she was depressed. This same way of thinking applies to people outside of the public eye, as most of us worry about how others think of us. Worrying over judgment from others due to routinely missing work or school to go to therapy appointments leaves those with depression feeling even more hopeless. Without a way to get help, many feel like their only way out is suicide.

So what can we do about this? First, we can reduce and eventually eliminate the stigma associated with depression and other mental health issues by spreading awareness about mental health and its treatment. Until all people recognize that mental illness is no more the sufferer’s fault or within their control than physical illness, this stigma will continue to kill our children, parents, siblings, and friends. When your response to a friend with diabetes is different than your response to a friend with depression, this difference is probably related to stigma. If you notice this difference, then you are at least part way to the solution.

Next, we need to recognize that depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues are not caused by a weakness, and thus cannot be healed through strength alone. Telling someone with depression that he just needs to try harder to get out of bed and move on is just as ridiculous as telling someone with cancer that he needs to do the same. Treating others with kindness and compassion whether you know what is going on with them or not is the best way to help anyone, whether they are suffering from an illness or not.

The other thing we can all do is to notice when someone is struggling, and start a conversation with them. You can start by asking a general question like, “How have you been doing?” or “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”  If they don’t take this lead, and you are suspicious that they may be feeling suicidal, ask a more direct question like, “Are you having any thoughts about hurting yourself?”  Whatever the response, it is important to give lots of empathy to help them feel comfortable sharing, and hold back from trying to “fix” what they’re going through.  Just listening and showing your concern by your body language and compassionate statements will help them continue to share their feelings with you. 

If they have mentioned death, hopelessness, helplessness, or wanting to harm themselves, after providing empathy, ask some follow-up questions to determine if they have a plan.  Ask specifically, “Have you thought about what you would do?” Keep asking questions until you feel like you have a solid understanding of what they are thinking of doing, by what means, and how likely they are to do it. Take every thought seriously, and pay special attention to the thought that others would be better off without them, as this is a very dangerous thought when paired with suicidal thoughts.

Unless you feel certain that this person is not going to follow through on the plan, it is best to seek professional help if a plan is mentioned. If you feel unsure whether the person’s immediate safety is at risk, and you are unable to come up with a solid safety plan with him or her, then your best bet is to get them to a hospital to be seen immediately. This doesn’t mean they will have to stay at the hospital, but if they don’t have an established therapist or psychiatrist, one can be seen right away at a hospital to get an evaluation.  If the person refuses to get help and you think they are at immediate risk, call 911. It is always better to be safe than sorry, and unless you are a mental health professional you are not qualified to make this decision on your own. It is often helpful to call a suicide hotline such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or chat online via their website, suicidepreventionlifeline.org, whenever in doubt.