By: Elizabeth Ernest, LMFT, LCSW, RPT™
The first day of school can bring a mix of emotions, not just for children, but for parents, too. After a summer of flexible schedules and family time, getting back into routines can feel overwhelming.
You may find yourself wondering: Will my child be okay? Will they make friends? What if they struggle?
These are the back-to-school scaries, and they’re completely normal.
Validate Instead of Reassuring
When your child says, “I don’t want to go to school,” it’s tempting to say, “You’ll be fine!”
Instead, try: “It sounds like you’re feeling nervous. It’s okay to feel nervous, and you can still do something that feels hard.”
The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety. It’s to teach children that they can experience uncomfortable feelings and still move forward.
Focus on What You Can Control
Help your child focus on the things they can control, such as, choosing an outfit, packing their backpack, practicing the morning routine, or learning how to ask a teacher for help.
A little preparation can also make the unknown feel more manageable. Practice bedtime, wake-up, breakfast, and getting out the door before the first day.
Don’t Forget About Yourself
Parents have “what ifs,” too. What if my child doesn’t make friends? What if they struggle? What if they’re not ready?
Try reminding yourself: “If something comes up, we’ll figure it out.”
You don’t have to solve problems that haven’t happened yet.
And when your child gets home, remember they may need time to decompress before answering questions about their day. Connection, a snack, movement, or quiet time may be more helpful than an immediate interrogation.
Your child doesn’t need a parent who never feels anxious. They need a parent who can show them that anxiety can be managed, uncertainty can be tolerated, and new beginnings can be handled one step at a time.
Here’s to a school year filled with growth, learning, messy mornings, proud moments, and plenty of opportunities for both you and your child to practice being brave.